"Humans and fellow felines,
I do not understand why I cannot catch the bright red bug. It appeared on Christmas Day and hasn't seemed to escape to the outside. It likes to show up when my mother is in the room! I wonder if she has a scent that attracts it...
It runs quickly on the ground, crawls up the walls, and walks on the ceiling! Sometimes it runs so fast that it makes streaks of red light. What is this red creature?
It pleases me to chase the red thing. HOWEVER, on several occasions my paw has violently landed directly on top of it and it never seems to die! I need to kill it! I need it to digest in my belly! Perhaps my new friend Tuck, or my girlfriend (<3) Rory can explain to me what it is and how to make it not be alive any longer.
Now I must sleep. Chasing the red dot has caused extreme exhaustion.
Sincerely,
Oscar"
