Monday, June 13, 2011

Professor Rowan, PhD

I am teaching a class on PKU, Phenylketonuria,
the rare form, Hyperphenylalaninemia, at the place of my current employment, The Institute of Catducation.

I am particularly sensitive to PKU, because I am a victim of the genetic disorder. I can rub my whiskers on the package of chewing gum, but will never taste the sweet mint bursts on my watering tongue due to it containing Phenylalanine, something my body cannot metabolize.

I'm serious. If you have chewing gum in your bag I will sniff it out. I will stick my face in your personal belongings to catch the scent. I desire to have my breath stink of fresh wintermint, but can merely have fur carry the aroma like a beautiful perfume.

I am teaching this class so my students understand what I suffer with. The strong urge to chew the rectangular stick, the minty dessert I've forever longed for.

And I was asked by the Dean to teach this particular class, or rather explain to my students (and their parents) why I have occassionally sniffed their pants pockets (for gum, of course). Apparently someone mentioned my habit to the head of our department. So tonight I meet with the Dean, some students and their parents, to teach about PKU. Oh! and the Dean mentioned that the local police department may swing by too. My lectures are sure becoming popular.
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